The World's Longest Blog Post

EXCUSES

I have 101 excuses oon why it has been so long since I have blogged, but I won't bore you with them. Just rest assured that I will never go as long as I have this time and that I am going to do my best to catch you up on our entire break in this one post. I apologize to all of you.

HAPPY EID

SO we have a friend Qatar who is like the Marlboro man and during his off time, he works rescued horses out at the rich Qatari's farm. During Eid, he invited us and the Duffee's out one day and it was awesome. We felt like we were in Wellborn. It was awesome (and it totally got us pyumped up about going back to Texas) There were horses, camels, deer, goats...you name it. Jacob and Hayley and Natalie had probably the best time.

Jacob and the girls found some sticks to poke at rocks with. Poking rocks with sticks is SERIOUS business when you are 3 and hey, at least they weren't poking each other.

SANTA COMES TO DOHA

So, yes, they do celebrate Christmas here...at least at the malls. There was Christmas trees on display and all the stores sold Christmas stuff, some places even play Christmas Carols. Well at our compound, Santa threw a party and even arrived on a camel. (Santa's wife is a very good friend of mine and video taped the entire thing...she was vefry disappointed that Santa didn't fall off the camel because she wanted to win 10,000 from America's Funniest Home Videos)...but I digress. Santa brought his camel and if you ever wondered to yourself, "I wonder how you get your camel out of the back of a trailer", the next picture will answer that for you.

Jacob was less than excited to ride the camel, but after about 45 minutes, he decided to get on with his dad.

So that is our house in the background with Clifton';s rental Trailblazer in the background. (That is a whole other story that I will tell later.)

Maddie gets her first present from Santa.

Jacob not only got a present, but he won the Santa judged art contest...I'm not sure why, but he did.

Sissy was not feeling the whole Santa vibe.

BIG BIG AIRPLANE

Jacob was really really excited about going on a BIG BIG AIRPLANE, we were less than excited to get on a plane to go to Texas and Mississippi (note Jacob holding the states in his hands below) After my friend Kara went home once with her toddler and infant I asked her the trick to traveling long haul wiuth small children. She said, "Make a list of all the people that you ABSOLUTELY have to see, then send them tickets to Doha....whatever you do, do NOT get on a plane with your children." I laughed at the time. I laugh no longer. In 18 hours, Maddie managed to take 2 short 45 minute naps and Jacob to 2 short naps as well. He finally fell asleep as we were descending into Houston which pissed both of us off. Then he was exhausted and it took 2 hours to get our luggage, more time to get through customs, immigration and get the rental car...at one point he yelled , "We are NEVER getting out of this airport" and everyone around busted out laughing because we all felt the same way.

WE FINALLY GET TO TEXAS....BRING ON THE STOMACH VIRUS

So we are all jetlagged and exhausted and we make it to our hotel and luckily between Justin and Jordan and our friend Amanda, there is food, supplies and a crib set up. I have no pictures of this first week, because Clifton was hit with a stomach virus, a very slow very long stomach virus. The kids got sick but only briefly and then it hit me like a freight train. I have nevery gotten that sick, that hard, that quickly. 7 hours later I was at the doctors and they gave me Phenagram. Which stopped the vomitting but put me in a drug induced walking coma. That evening I finally got to see my girls who threw a Bacon themed party in my honor. Jordan picked me up in my pj's, I ate no food and stretched out on Susie's couch and watched a movie that I don't remember. AT one point Clifton took Jacob Christmas shopping for me and they had to stand in line for awhile at one of the stores. Jacob turned around and looked at Clifton and asked, "Are we back at the airport again???" Another Jacob zinger was that we were in a small hotel room all week and he asked" can I go up stairs and get my toys" we explained that we were in a hotel room and there was no toy room upstairs like his big big house. So then he refered to the hotel as his little house and asked everyday if he could go back to his big house. We also gave him the IPOD every morning at 3am when he woke us up ready for breakfast so he could watch Bob the Builder and we could try to sleep. Awesome Awesome week.

NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION

This Christmas my parents were lovely enough to join us in Mississippi for the holidays so we didn't have to split time or travel between the two states. My family has only met Pearl and Donna, so this was going to be a real treat. I have been married to this family for 6 years (and yes, we drove to Mississippi on our anniversary....fantastic) and so I love the McGraw's/Griffin's, but they are a big loud family and I hoped everyone was up to meeting everyone. Of course, Clifton's family as usual was friendly and inviting and everyone hooped and hollared and had a great toime with my folks. I was very excited for several reasons. One I wasn't puking anymore, two...no one has met Maddie except for my mom. So here is Maddie with her Pepaw (her middle name Mae is my father's mother's name)...which may be my favoritre picture EVER in the history of pictures. I should add that there are few photos of Maddie with family, because she would only let me hold her the entire trip back...she even fussed with her dad. The only person she didn't fuss with was Clifton's grandma...who held her several times.

Maddie and Memaw

Maddie and GranParky

Maddie and GranPearly

Maddie and her "Maw" who she adored.

So here is pictures from some of the get togethers....

Aunt Jane opening one of our gifts

Jacob and Caroline

Jacob, Issabelle and Caroline

Dad and Cousin Jonathon

Jacob and DJ

Maddie and Brittany (who she didn't cry with either) Brittany is the softball goddess that I always brag about.

Maddie, Maw and Brandon

The cousins

The great grandkids

Jacob was so excited Christmas Eve . Pearl had memorized the night before Christmas and recited it to him. Then as she was putting him asleep, she said, "What's that Jacob...I think I hear Santa and his reindeer on the roof" and he looked at her puzzled and said, "GranPearly, Santa is not on the roof, he rides a camel"

MAYBE WHEN I SAID "BUY SMALL IT NEEDS TO FIT IN OUR SUITCASES TO GET BACK TO DOHA" YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME. ALTHOUGH I SAID 50 TIMES

Grandparents are a child's blessing and a parents nightmare.

Exactly how are we getting this home. Let me tell you how. We bought two additional suitcases to get the bike home because Fed Ex wanted 600 bucks to ship it. We still had to pay overages on all our luggage. And, we shipped 12 boxes back. 12 boxes. 12 boxes. 12 boxes.

Uncle Robert and Aunt Shari are on the "poop" list as well. Robin and Chris at least had the decency to buy movies and small toys.

Auntie Faye (a.k.a. Aunt Donna) and Jacob are about as thick as theives

AT Gran PArky's place (which both Pearl and Sparky went way way way out of their way to make their homes comfortable for all of us) Thanks guys!!!

HENNYHANNAH

After 8 days in Mississippi, we decided to head back to Texas. On a whim, Clifton and I decided to stop in Bossier City, Louisianna (Jacob called it "hennyhannah" the entire time) to get a room and gamble on the way back. The Independence Bowl was going on that night, so we could only get a room at Boomtown which was OK. Clifton went down to gamble first while I watched the kids. he turned 100 bucks into 160. We went to dinner and then it was my turn to go. I lost my hundred in 2 hours, but I had a blast doing it. Next, Clifton went back down and lost close to 300. So at this point we are down 340. (do the math, it works...) I was up stairs with snoozing kids watching Tropic Thunder. He convinced me to go back down and lose another 100. I came back a couple hours later with 700 bucks. Needless to say he forgave me for being gone so long. The next morning after breakfast we decided to take 100 a piece and go back down. Clifton went first and lost 20 in 30 minutes. I of course was gone closer to an hour, but turned my 100 into 700 more. That sort of set the tone for the next few days back at the hotel in Texas. The kids were no longer jetlaged, we were able to spend time with all of our friends, eat great food and have a blast. My favorite was New Years Eve at Ande's and Theresa's when her youngest asked me where we were visiting from. I said Doha Qatar and she said, "Is that near Navasota"?

My parents came down and watched the kids for the night and Clifton and I actually got to go on a date. And then we got on a plane......

YOU KNOW THEY CAN ARREST YOU FOR GOING ON A TIRADE ON A PLANE

but that still didn't stop me. We changed our seats online so we could sit 4 across on the way back. Unfortunantly, they had a problem issuing a boarding pass for Maddie so when they finally reissued our tickets in Houston, they split us up. I did not realize they split our seating until we boarded the plane and it was if 19 days of frustration and aggrevation was unleashed on the poor male flight attendant. Both e and Clifton were trying to calm me down, but I was having some sort of out of body experience, where I could see me being insane and I wanted to not be screaming, but I couldn't stop myself and I was throwing stuff in the seats and cussing and physically shaking. Finally Clifton told me to sit down and shut up, (which I did). But I was still silently steaming. For everyones better health on the long journey though, Mr. Flight Attendent Man cleared a row for us once everyone boarded and then it was smooth sailing. The kids both slept pretty much the entire trip home. No crying, no tantrums....it was like we had traded our kids in for the Stepford Kids. (Either that or they were scared of me)

Needless to say we made it back safe, after 2 weeks, the kids are back on schedule, work has started and I have my same students back for a new class this semester, I get to take some kids on a Shell Oil field trip to Oman in two weeks . Maddie had her 9 month check up at 10 months and for the first time she is rolling ovcer, sitting up and bearing weight on her legs. SHe is still in the 5th percentile and she lost some weight in the US, but she has been eating like a champ since we have been back. Jacob loves school. Clifton is healthy and reasonably calm most days.

And before anyone asks, no we will not be coming home for Christmas.